Bad Application Architect Diseases

This year I got sick on BOTH Christmas and Thanksgiving. Kinda sucks, but could be worse, I could have one of the following bad application architect diseases -

OverComplexitis : 
    Symptoms generally range from an application architect firing 4 background threads for a simple login box. A person infected with OverComplexitis will generally nitpick on 1 millisecond gains while giving no attention to writing maintainable easily understandable code. You unnervingly find yourself involved with such a person in extremely long drawn conversations regarding a pertinent techie topic which drawn out to it's gory techie details is being discussed more so to convince the other person/impress the lady in the elevator/the lunch line at the canteen or just for the heck of it. Feigning dead works at times, but not always.

XMLitis:
   This is a dangerous disease that creeps upon you unknowingly. Before you know, you start writing emails in XML, you start dreaming in XML, and you can't have an orgasm because you almost always forget to put the “/“ in the <Orgasm/> and you get a validation error, or your partner uses <Climax/> and ruins it all (*** !!). Symptoms generally range from wild delusions of not having a database, and completely XMLizing everything in the system.

BADRequirementitis:
    A sureshot sign of this disease is a super urgent do-or-die straight-from-the-ceo critical requirement that precedes all the other super urgent do-or-die straight-from-the-ceo received yesterday. Other symptoms include comments like “We need to work on the weekends now to avoid crunch time later“. One must know better.

LoyalDogBookWormitis:
   This is a terminal disease whose only cure is retirement. One of the most dangerous diseases when an employee sticks with a company for 25 years, has books in his office ranging from UML, Java, .NET, COM, ATL, How to win friends, Cookbook, C# Cookbook, Algol, Pascal, ADA, VC++, old MSDN subscriptions, with poppy flowers in the pages from his girlfriend in bellbottoms from the 60s. Usually these are all covered in both sentiments and 3 inches of dust. In most cases this disease degenerates to a stabler but worse Manageritis.

MyShitDoesntSmellitis:
    This disease in it's most dangerous form renders the patient completely inept of learning anything good and new. It also has a serious bad effect on the rest of the team members who are too scared of trying anything new and good out of purely good intentions because of the thrashing and ridicule they might receive from the App Arch. The only cure for this disease is butt waxing every 2 weeks until the guy grows up a bit.

And finally -

Hypotechnologia or Hypertechnologia
    A refrain/abstinence of preventing any team member to use even Instant Messenger, not allowing IIS on every developer's machine, not allowing allowing a developer to install any software, limiting internet access to a .NET developer
         or 
    Having only one column, one row, and one table in the entire database, just so you could take “advantage” of the new XML data-type in SQL Server 2005, replacing every SQL Query with XPath expressions, or having MS Office ActiveX documents replace a web based VB/ASP application (back in 2000)

  - are sure signs you have a bad architect at work.